Pizza Recipe

Fellow FitBitches,

I love me some sloppy ass cheesy pizza. When I was a freshman in college in New Orleans, I used to go out, get bombed on long islands & finish the night with 2 - 3 slices of 1.000 calorie pizza from a crack den called The Boot. I went from sexy freshman meat to chubby library freak. I still loooooooove pizza...like I fantasize about smothering my body in oily, greasy cheese, but I've been making my own for a of couple months. I got the idea from my dad (use that app to create the image of a baby made between Lance Armstrong & the Rock) and it's crazy delicious for you pizza-hungry bitches like me.

First of all, I have no clue how to make the dough. I get it from Whole Foods. Yes, I get pissed off every time I walk in there. I get that you're super hippy & eco-chic. Just use your tattooed freakish hand to give me my groceries. Ask the any food store's bakery for some straight up dough; they usually have it.

Also, pick up a small package of mozzarella. The smallest one you can find...cheese packs on the pounds, so you'll want to just indulge a bit. I also like to use ricotta - a little less calories.

You'll also need:
handful of basil leaves
1 clove of minced garlic (fresh preferably)
1 28 oz can of whole peeled tomatoes
1 6oz can of tomato paste
1/2 cup of white onions
1 lb. lean ground turkey
EVOO
pinch of salt & pepper


First off, sautee a clove of minced garlic & 1/2 cup of diced onions in a pan lightly coated with EVOO.
Start the sauce by adding the paste & the whole tomatoes, a splash of EVOO, a pinch of salt & pepper (watch the salt, bitches....it'll bloat you). Add in the garlic & onions. Let it simmer while you start the turkey.

Lightly coat a pan with EVOO & add your turkey. Remember it will cook more when you add it to the sauce.  You'll also want a pinch of salt & pepper (again, watch the salt).

Add the turkey into the sauce & let it simmer for 30 mins. You may have sauce left over, depending on how wide your dough is stretched out & how much sauce you like on your pizza.

Before you put it in the oven @ 350 for 20 minutes, add the basil leaves & cut up mozz on top.

Eat it, but not too much, my fitbitches. Remember: what's briefly at the lips, lingers at the hips. Enjoy your pizza, but don't go overboard. Eat to live, don't live to eat.

currently covered in oily, greasy cheese,
FitBitch
xx