Several years ago I could hardly run 1/4 of a mile. Now I can run for an hour & still have energy. I never thought I could change, but I did.
I really loved on the blog: "Fit is the New Skinny" how Martha points out how annoying it is when people act like those who diet & exercise are these magical pixies that have all the time & energy in the world. False, bitches. People who diet & exercise are those who have the INTEGRITY to change, the DRIVE to keep on the path of a healthy life, the DESIRE to be the fittest bitch they can be, the WILL POWER to say "no, I'm not interested in eating another slice of pizza" & the MOTIVATION to keep moving when they feel like their legs are going to fall right off. Yes, I would LOVE to drink 8 beers, lay out in the sun & party my face off, however I also like to look better than you when I put on my Herve Leger knock off. Yes, I would love to stop during this run. My legs are burning & I can feel that I'm going to vomit, however I have a BURNING DESIRE within me to kick my ass.
People who make changes in their life aren't magical. They just stop making excuses. They cut the complaints & they suffer through blood, sweat & tears.
Love Always,
FitBitc
XX
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
I love you, but I love myself more.
Wow, I haven't posted in 11 days. I normally can't shut the fuck up, so here's to getting back into my incessant rambling.
I've been thinking about how it's so important we (as bitches) build ourselves up. We have to love ourselves, respect ourselves & be confident in ourselves. We can be out own worst enemy or our biggest fan.
I've recently had trouble in my relationship with mandog, which made me realize the importance of being independent enough to be a happy, healthy fitbitch either on my own or in a happy, healthy relationship.
Samantha the blonde horndog is my favorite Sex & the City character & she says my favorite line:
So this brings me to my fitness part of this post. I run because it's a boyfriend that won't dump you. All you need are your legs & feet (& if your rack is that huge, a sports bra). If you're a bad girlfriend or boyfriend, you'll get dumped. If you're a financial moron, the bank can take your house. If you feed your kid lard, child services will take it. Running can't be taken away. I love having something that's all mine.
I can just go out & run until I start to pee myself. It's freeing. It makes my legs & ass look great & it keeps me mentally fit. It helps me work on myself. I build myself up & come back happier after a run than when I left.
Whatever your escape is, take advantage of it.
I've been thinking about how it's so important we (as bitches) build ourselves up. We have to love ourselves, respect ourselves & be confident in ourselves. We can be out own worst enemy or our biggest fan.
I've recently had trouble in my relationship with mandog, which made me realize the importance of being independent enough to be a happy, healthy fitbitch either on my own or in a happy, healthy relationship.
Samantha the blonde horndog is my favorite Sex & the City character & she says my favorite line:
I love you, but I love myself more
Yes, it's true that you should love your partner & give them all you can give, but when you care more for their health & happiness than your own, it's time to move on; ESPECIALLY when they don't return the favor. A relationship should be reciprocal. Give & take, bitches.So this brings me to my fitness part of this post. I run because it's a boyfriend that won't dump you. All you need are your legs & feet (& if your rack is that huge, a sports bra). If you're a bad girlfriend or boyfriend, you'll get dumped. If you're a financial moron, the bank can take your house. If you feed your kid lard, child services will take it. Running can't be taken away. I love having something that's all mine.
I can just go out & run until I start to pee myself. It's freeing. It makes my legs & ass look great & it keeps me mentally fit. It helps me work on myself. I build myself up & come back happier after a run than when I left.
Whatever your escape is, take advantage of it.
Take time to take care of yourself.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Motivation
I ran into an old friend at the gym today & the topic of what motivates you to workout came up. In this situation, my friend is trying to tone up for a beach vacation with her boo & his family to Mexico. This made me think about the importance of having a goal when you hit the gym.
When I was little, my mom made me do swim team. I thought it was torture & wanted to call social services on her red Irish ass. Getting up at 8am on a Summer morning to swim laps at 11 years old was absolutely fucking foul. I found it really difficult to paddle my chunky ass around, and after throwing numerous tempter tantrums & several unsuccessful calls to 911, I decided to suck it up. To get through my 15 minutes of pool time, I would pretend a school of hammerhead sharks were chasing after me trying to bite my vagina. Thus, I paddled like a crazed lunatic until I was finished with my laps. In a way, I still do this. I don't pretend gigantic fish with teeth want to chomp on my crotch, but I have a very focused goal when I'm breaking a sweat.
Lately, my focus has been on making my ass not resemble a pancake. I imagine this horrible, pale, hideous, cruel witch from high school & how much I hated her butt. It looked like she had been viciously beaten with an oven pan for hours, leaving her cheeks flat as a board. I also check out pictures of Adriana Lima & Brooke Mora for motivation. I used to utilize Kim Kardashian's ass as positive motivation to workout, but now I just use my broken heart and sense of betrayal over her failed marriage to that dumbass ape she was screwing.
Anyway, bitches the point of this post is to suggest that you focus in on some sort of goal before you hit the gym or pool to swim away from schools of fucked-up-headed sharks. Do you want to tone your ass? Do you need to work off your emotional breakdown over Kim's wedding? Are you running away from a cracked out LaLohan? Are sea animals turned on by your pancake ass? Are you sick of your legs looking like cottage cheese? Whatever it is, embrace it. Stop whining about whatever is bothering you & use it as fuel to get moving.
Love as always,
FitBitch
PS: Thank you mom for making me do swim team.
When I was little, my mom made me do swim team. I thought it was torture & wanted to call social services on her red Irish ass. Getting up at 8am on a Summer morning to swim laps at 11 years old was absolutely fucking foul. I found it really difficult to paddle my chunky ass around, and after throwing numerous tempter tantrums & several unsuccessful calls to 911, I decided to suck it up. To get through my 15 minutes of pool time, I would pretend a school of hammerhead sharks were chasing after me trying to bite my vagina. Thus, I paddled like a crazed lunatic until I was finished with my laps. In a way, I still do this. I don't pretend gigantic fish with teeth want to chomp on my crotch, but I have a very focused goal when I'm breaking a sweat.
Lately, my focus has been on making my ass not resemble a pancake. I imagine this horrible, pale, hideous, cruel witch from high school & how much I hated her butt. It looked like she had been viciously beaten with an oven pan for hours, leaving her cheeks flat as a board. I also check out pictures of Adriana Lima & Brooke Mora for motivation. I used to utilize Kim Kardashian's ass as positive motivation to workout, but now I just use my broken heart and sense of betrayal over her failed marriage to that dumbass ape she was screwing.
Anyway, bitches the point of this post is to suggest that you focus in on some sort of goal before you hit the gym or pool to swim away from schools of fucked-up-headed sharks. Do you want to tone your ass? Do you need to work off your emotional breakdown over Kim's wedding? Are you running away from a cracked out LaLohan? Are sea animals turned on by your pancake ass? Are you sick of your legs looking like cottage cheese? Whatever it is, embrace it. Stop whining about whatever is bothering you & use it as fuel to get moving.
Love as always,
FitBitch
PS: Thank you mom for making me do swim team.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Rest Days & Cheat Days
I used to run 7 days a week, but after months of pounding the pavement everyday, I had to go to physical therapy. A fervent enthusiasm for exercise is great, but you've got to be careful about overdoing it. This doesn't mean you can use this as an excuse to avoid workouts throughout the week.
This brings up the question: how many days should you workout? I personally workout four or five times a week. I get at least 30 minutes of cardio in & I really love my squats & lunges. I have a set of FitBitch drills I do to keep my legs & bizarrely shaped ass toned. By the end of my workout, I've been going at it for about an hour and a half from beginning stretches to ending stretches.
On days that you're deciding to rest, be careful about what you eat. Weight loss is 90% due to your diet. Don't feel that your rest day from you workout is your rest day from your diet, too. Be sure to be cognizant of what you're putting in your body. Since you won't be exercising, you won't need that post-workout snack.
On this note, I also don't recommend cheat days or even cheat meals. You aren't just cheating on your diet, you're cheating yourself of your goals. Just because you've worked out & been healthy for a few days doesn't mean you need to stuff your face with a burger, fries & shake. This also doesn't mean to totally avoid indulging. If you really feel that you deserve a treat, eat 1/2 of a burger & choose either the fries or the shake.
I really don't even understand the concept of cheating. I don't condone it, I don't do it & I think it's weird. If I've been a fit, healthy bitch for the week, I'm not dying to eat shit. I feel since I've put in all the hard work that I deserve it even more to feed my body well. I think processed food (which is what a lot of people crave) is fucked up, disgusting & vomit-worthy. If I want to indulge, I portion out a little bit of real, dairy ice cream or eat some extra dark chocolate. I also don't feel deprived on my typical diet. I've come to love turkey burgers, fish, crunchy salads, veggies, sweet fruit & whatever else I eat everyday. When you know how to season your food well for falvor & you have a variety of recipes to choose from, McDonald's seems like a vile death sentence.
Bitches, use your head. Don't eat like a pig, don't slip up on your diet on your rest day, & don't take seven rest days a week.
xoxo
FitBitch
This brings up the question: how many days should you workout? I personally workout four or five times a week. I get at least 30 minutes of cardio in & I really love my squats & lunges. I have a set of FitBitch drills I do to keep my legs & bizarrely shaped ass toned. By the end of my workout, I've been going at it for about an hour and a half from beginning stretches to ending stretches.
On days that you're deciding to rest, be careful about what you eat. Weight loss is 90% due to your diet. Don't feel that your rest day from you workout is your rest day from your diet, too. Be sure to be cognizant of what you're putting in your body. Since you won't be exercising, you won't need that post-workout snack.
On this note, I also don't recommend cheat days or even cheat meals. You aren't just cheating on your diet, you're cheating yourself of your goals. Just because you've worked out & been healthy for a few days doesn't mean you need to stuff your face with a burger, fries & shake. This also doesn't mean to totally avoid indulging. If you really feel that you deserve a treat, eat 1/2 of a burger & choose either the fries or the shake.
I really don't even understand the concept of cheating. I don't condone it, I don't do it & I think it's weird. If I've been a fit, healthy bitch for the week, I'm not dying to eat shit. I feel since I've put in all the hard work that I deserve it even more to feed my body well. I think processed food (which is what a lot of people crave) is fucked up, disgusting & vomit-worthy. If I want to indulge, I portion out a little bit of real, dairy ice cream or eat some extra dark chocolate. I also don't feel deprived on my typical diet. I've come to love turkey burgers, fish, crunchy salads, veggies, sweet fruit & whatever else I eat everyday. When you know how to season your food well for falvor & you have a variety of recipes to choose from, McDonald's seems like a vile death sentence.
Bitches, use your head. Don't eat like a pig, don't slip up on your diet on your rest day, & don't take seven rest days a week.
xoxo
FitBitch
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Just How Hard Do You Need To Push It?
I wrote a post earlier this weekend about how it isn't enough (if you really want to change your body) to do little things like taking the stairs, cutting out a few snacks/drinks throughout the day, etc. It's definitely true that it takes commitment, sweat, & mental/physical pain to get through the journey of weight loss, but just how hard do you need to push it in a workout for it to actually be effective?
This is where I want to clear things up: I didn't mean you have to spend an hour and a half running stairs or tying yourself to Kim Kardashian's F150 ass & being dragged down streets to shed weight. The easiest way I can break it down is: spend 30 minutes four times a week doing cardio. You may not have access to a heart rate monitor, so you need to learn to listen to your body. If you're literally about to vomit, stop. If you feel like you could belt out Kim Zolciack's 'Tardy For The Party' without missing a beat, you need to pick it up. Also, take note that I am speaking to people just beginning a workout regimen. If you're a seasoned runner or whatever, you know the drill. For the rest of you getting fit bitches, follow these cardinal moron-proof rules: sweat a little, burn your muscles a little, & feel tired when you're finished.
Gauge how hard you can push it. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY.
Once you're comfortable exercising for 30 minutes four times a week, add some weight training in. This can be as easy as utilizing the machines at your local gym. If you don't have access to one, you can do squats, lunges, push ups & crunches in your home. If you don't own weights, fill up milk jugs & use those instead.
We've been fooled by advertisements into thinking that we need the newest pair of toning shoes or sports bra or sports drink to get a workout in. I fucking ran around the murder capital of Louisiana in sparkly pixie shoes last night. All you need is your body, the motivation & a little bit of knowledge.
You bitches know what to do, now just do it!
xoxo
FitBitch
This is where I want to clear things up: I didn't mean you have to spend an hour and a half running stairs or tying yourself to Kim Kardashian's F150 ass & being dragged down streets to shed weight. The easiest way I can break it down is: spend 30 minutes four times a week doing cardio. You may not have access to a heart rate monitor, so you need to learn to listen to your body. If you're literally about to vomit, stop. If you feel like you could belt out Kim Zolciack's 'Tardy For The Party' without missing a beat, you need to pick it up. Also, take note that I am speaking to people just beginning a workout regimen. If you're a seasoned runner or whatever, you know the drill. For the rest of you getting fit bitches, follow these cardinal moron-proof rules: sweat a little, burn your muscles a little, & feel tired when you're finished.
Gauge how hard you can push it. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY.
Once you're comfortable exercising for 30 minutes four times a week, add some weight training in. This can be as easy as utilizing the machines at your local gym. If you don't have access to one, you can do squats, lunges, push ups & crunches in your home. If you don't own weights, fill up milk jugs & use those instead.
We've been fooled by advertisements into thinking that we need the newest pair of toning shoes or sports bra or sports drink to get a workout in. I fucking ran around the murder capital of Louisiana in sparkly pixie shoes last night. All you need is your body, the motivation & a little bit of knowledge.
You bitches know what to do, now just do it!
xoxo
FitBitch
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Workout In A Crunch For Time
Bitches,
I took the GRE today & had no time/energy to get in the workout I wanted. I was disappointed in myself for having not committed when I had planned on it all week. Instead of beating myself up about it & continuing to claim it was too late to workout, I decided to do what I could in my living room. I also ended up jogging around my block a few times. Here's a breakdown of what I did:
40 jump squats
10 lunges left & right; front & back
30 jump squats
10 lunges left & right; front & back
30 jump squats left & right; front & back
10 push ups
10 crunches
10 seconds on my back with feet 6" above ground
10 pushups
10 crunches
10 seconds on my back with feet 6" above ground
10 pushups
30 squats
10 minute jog
30 FitBitch High Knee Squats ( I'll share these in my next video)
Even when you're crunched for time, get a workout in.
I took the GRE today & had no time/energy to get in the workout I wanted. I was disappointed in myself for having not committed when I had planned on it all week. Instead of beating myself up about it & continuing to claim it was too late to workout, I decided to do what I could in my living room. I also ended up jogging around my block a few times. Here's a breakdown of what I did:
40 jump squats
10 lunges left & right; front & back
30 jump squats
10 lunges left & right; front & back
30 jump squats left & right; front & back
10 push ups
10 crunches
10 seconds on my back with feet 6" above ground
10 pushups
10 crunches
10 seconds on my back with feet 6" above ground
10 pushups
30 squats
10 minute jog
30 FitBitch High Knee Squats ( I'll share these in my next video)
Even when you're crunched for time, get a workout in.
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